Poor Peter

POOR PETER
By Rev. Wayne C. Deloach

Cast:

NARRATOR

WOMAN 1 - a younger woman along for the ride

WOMAN 2 - a very prim and proper older woman who knows what's right and wants everyone else to know, too

Props Needed: Woman 2 needs a large book of some kind and a bunch of loose papers representing her notes.

General Directions: This skit is performed center stage. Two women who were on their way to a worship conference die in an auto accident and find themselves at St. Peter's gate wondering where they are.

NARRATOR: There's no question that worship is at the heart of the Christian faith. As God's people gather together in worship, God himself promises to be with them in order to inspire them, strengthen them, encourage them and help them grow in faith. But just what kind of worship does God desire? Are there rules and regulations governing worship that have to be followed before it will "count" with God? Or is God open to any kind of worship so long as he is the object of its devotion? In tonight's skit we meet a woman who is certain she has all the answers. But does she?

(both women enter center stage staggering somewhat and holding on to each other for support)

WOMAN 1: (looks groggy and confused) Wow! What happened?

WOMAN 2: (fixing her hair as she speaks) Well, I'm not at all sure. We were on our way to that worship conference at the church when all of a sudden, the next thing I know, I'm seeing a blinding light.

WOMAN 1: Yeah, me, too. But what happened? Say, you were driving!

WOMAN 2: Oh, my, yes, I was, wasn't I, dear? Well, I'm sure I don't know what happened either. We were just going along as pretty as you please. I remember trying to change the disc in the cd player so you could hear that new anthem by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. And then my cell phone rang and it was Henry asking me if I had remembered all my notes. Oh, and then I had that lock of hair out of place and I was trying to fix that. And then you asked me to find a copy of the agenda for the conference in my folder here . . . .

WOMAN 1: Don't blame this on me! I told you to keep your eyes on the road!

WOMAN 2: Now, dear, don't be upset. I'm sure it will all become clear in due time. By the way, I wonder where we are.

WOMAN 1: (looking around) This is only a guess but I think we're in heaven.

WOMAN 2: Heaven?! Oh, heaven's no, my dear! I'm not ready to be in heaven! I have to lead that workshop at the conference tonight. And I put so much time and work into it, too. Just look at all the notes I've got ready to go. Pastor Wayne is going to be so disappointed if I don't show up.

WOMAN 1: Yeah, well, he'll just have to get over it now, won't he? I don't think you're going to make it. And, by the way, what is all that stuff you've got there anyway?

WOMAN 2: Why, it's all the rules and regulations governing worship in the church. I was going to be presenting them at the conference tonight. Worship is a very important thing, you know, and everything has to be done just right in worship or it won't count. hat was one of the major points I was planning to make in my lecture tonight at the conference.

WOMAN 1: Won't "count?" What in the world do you mean by that?

WOMAN 2: Well, I just mean that there are right ways to do things in worship and there are wrong ways. It's all spelled out here in this manual. Everything in worship has to be just so, you know.

WOMAN 1: Oh, I don't know about that. What about last Christmas Eve when Pastor Wayne forgot the words to the benediction and just made something up as he went along? Did that mean that that service didn't "count?"

WOMAN 2: Well, no, not exactly. But, you have to admit, it wasn't his best effort. And, you know, I'm starting to worry about Pastor Wayne. He seems to be making things up as he goes along more and more all the time. I heard he turned 55 last month and has an AARP card to prove it. Do you suppose it's his age?

WOMAN 1: I don't know. But that doesn't matter in the least now. What does matter is where we are and what we're going to do now that we're here. There doesn't seem to be anyone else around.

WOMAN 2: No, there doesn't. I wonder where everybody is. I always thought when I got to heaven that all my friends and family would be there to greet me but I don't see any of them. (sounding scandalized) You don't suppose they all went to "the other place," do you?

WOMAN 1: Well, I know some of your friends and it wouldn't surprise me in the least. But here's another thought to put in your bonnet. Maybe we're in "the other place." Has that possibility crossed your mind?

WOMAN 2: Oh, that's impossible, my dear. No way. After all, I've spent my whole life worshiping God in all the right ways so I'm sure this is heaven.

WOMAN 1: There you go, off on that "right way to worship" business again. Don't you think God listens to and appreciates all kinds of worship?

WOMAN 2: Well, I suppose God has to put up with a lot of things that he doesn't really want to but that doesn't make it right. It's all here in the manual and, if you would only take the time to read it, you'd see. There is a right way and a wrong way to do everything in worship and if only you could have heard the talk I was going to give at the conference tonight you would understand that.

WOMAN 1: I don't know. It just seems to me that worship has to do with our relationship with God and not with rules and regulations. The main thing is that God wants us to be in communication with him and there are lots of ways to do that. Some of them are more meaningful to one person than another and some of them are more meaningful at one time or another. But that doesn't make any of them wrong. God loves it when his people are together in worship singing his praises, thanking him for all he's done, asking him for help in their lives and just plain enjoying the time they're spending together. That's what I think worship's all about anyway.

WOMAN 2: Well, of course, it's a free country and you can think whatever you like but I have the manual right here and as soon as we see somebody up here (looking around) we'll ask them.

WOMAN 1: Yeah, right. (very sarcastic) I can just see you instructing the angels in heaven on the "right" way to worship. They're going to get a real kick out of that!

WOMAN 2: Well, now, you just never know, do you, dear? It could very well be that they have just been waiting for someone with my knowledge of the subject to arrive and will be thrilled to hear the lecture I've prepared.

WOMAN 1: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. In the meantime, I wonder what there is to do around here.

WOMAN 2: Well, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to review my notes so that I'll be ready when the opportunity comes to give my lecture. I'm sure there are many here who will be very interested in what I have to say.

WOMAN 1: Yeah, I'm sure, too. Like my Daddy use to say, "Heaven is the only place people are dying to get into." And I'm sure they're lining up by the hundreds now that you're here. Oh, say, here comes somebody now. It looks like an angel! Maybe it's St. Peter himself!

WOMAN 2: I certainly hope so. I wouldn't expect anyone less to greet me. And I'm sure he'll be interested in this manual on worship. Oh, I think you're right, dear! I think it is Peter! (speaking as she exits center stage) Oh, Peter! Peter! I have just a couple of things I'd like to talk with you about. It will only take a few minutes and I think you'll be very glad you took the time. I've been studying up on the right and wrong ways to worship and I'd just like to . . . . . .

WOMAN 1: Poor Peter. He's going to end up wishing somebody else's name was on the door!

NARRATOR: Worship isn't really about rules and regulations as much as our friend might think it is. It's really a matter of the heart. God does want to be in communication with us and one of the most important ways in which that communication happens is through worship as we listen to God's Word being read and preached and as we share in the Sacraments. In our understanding, the Word and the Sacraments are God's means of grace and the promise of God is that he is always present in them. And that's why the Word and the Sacraments are always featured so prominently in our services of worship. They are at the heart of what worship is all about. Beyond that, however, there are lots of styles of worship used by Christians and all of them are appropriate and have their place. Some prefer to worship in a stately and traditional style; others in a more contemporary and moving style; and still others in a style that's as loose and as free wheeling as it can be. None of them are "right" or "wrong" as far as God is concerned and as long as the goal of worship is to refresh our relationship with God and renew God's communication with us then all of them are worthwhile in God's sight.