Lena and Katrina
PLACE: Back row of Peace Lutheran Church, Menomonie (or it could be any Lutheran Church)
TIME: 8:25 a.m. any given Sunday
Katrina: "Good Morning, Lena."
Lena: "Well, good morning yourself, Katrina! I'm so glad you've finally decided to come to church!"
Katrina: "Finally decided to come to church? Why, I hardly ever miss a Sunday. I always sit up in the 6th row on the right. Don't you ever see me up there?"
Lena: "Oh, I can't tell who anyone is beyond 3 or 4 rows ahead of me. Why, I have a hard time telling which pastor is which until they start talking. They both look like the other one from back here. And even after they start talking I sometimes still can't tell who's who, with all the talking, and laughing and crying and gossiping going on back here. The good Lord only knows how much there is to keep track of back here. Why a few weeks ago I missed my neighbors' baby getting baptized. I thought we were taking in new members and the next thing I knew little Willie was being held up in the air by Pastor Whelan (or maybe it was Pastor Dale) and everybody was oohing and aahing over him. (Sigh) But it's worth it sitting back here."
Katrina: "Why is it worth it, Lena?"
Lena: "Oh, when I sit back here I don't have to get all gussied up like everyone else does. I don't want to distract people by coming with new clothes and a fancy hairdo. It makes it hard to pay attention to the sermon, and it's hard enough to hear what Pastor Dale is saying without having to watch what Marilyn & Ethel are wearing every Sunday."
Katrina: "I hear the sermon just great and I usually just sit & meditate until the service begins. The beautiful stained-glass windows and the banners that the ladies make, the inspiring organ music, I just kinda get lost in it all. I don't notice much around me."
Lena: "Well, even if I CAN hear the pastor's sermon, you know by the time I get jockied for position so I can see between, over and around everyone's heads, and by the time the coughing and nose-blowing and the snoring stops, the sermon's usually about finished."
Katrina: "I usually just sit back, snuggle up to Bernie and get comfy, and wait for Pastor to start the sermon. It's the best part of my week."
Lena: "Well, my Ole usually just gets caught up on his sleep during the sermon; I guess he needs a nap sometime. It wouldn't be good to be sitting in the front of the church when Ole wakes up. He doesn't know WHO he is or WHERE he is. And boy, does he jump when I elbow him."
Katrina: "I sure liked Pastor Dale's sermon last Sunday. He really got my attention when he started out by singing 'Welcome to My World.' That Eddy Arnold is a dream!"
Lena: "'Welcome to My World?' I thought he said 'Well, how come Tommy would?' I nearly went crazy wondering 'How come Tommy would WHAT?' And who in the heck was Tommy anyway? I thought, 'Well, what's that Tommy Thompson done now?' Anyway, then the organ started playing and I couldn't read the page number so I missed the whole next hymn and still was wondering 'how come Tommy would what?'"
Katrina: "Oh, Lena, Pastor Dale's sermon was about favorite songs of the youth at their retreat at Luther Park. They talked about what these songs were saying to them."
Lena: "Really? I thought Dale was talking about 'Ruth retreating and losing her spark!' For the life of me, I couldn't remember that Bible story! (Hmmm, 'youth retreat at Luther Park.' Now that makes sense!"
Katrina: "And I so enjoyed Angie Fullerton's beautiful solo on our new keyboard. Now that girl knows how to make beautiful music! We're so luck to have so many talented members AND that lovely new keyboard at the front of our church."
Lena: "You mean someone was actually up there playing that beautiful music in person? I thought that was a profession recording, like Lorie Line or someone. And, Katrina, you say we have a new keyboard and it sits in front of the church?"
Katrina: "Well, yes, Lena, it's been there for months. Why it's just about paid for." (Pause with look of amazement) "Is there communion today, Lena?"
Lena: "Oh, I don't pay much attention to communion, Katrina. By the time I get way up there I'm so short of breath I couldn’t eat or drink a thing. I'd be afraid of choking on it. I just sit here and when the adult choir members start going up to the front, I know it's almost finished."
Katrina: "Oh, Lena, we better hush now and sing the next hymn."
*Pretend it's an actual hymn being sung*
Lena: "You know, it always seems like I'm singing a solo back here. There's nobody sitting behind you to drown you out. You can't hear anybody else singing at all. Is it like that up in the 6th row, Katrina?"
Katrina: "Not at all, Lena, unless it's one of those crazy songs that nobody knows (Katrina giggles). There are a lot of good singers up front; you can even hear the choir from the balcony."
Lena: "You don't say! Katrina, let's move to the front! Now!"
*Katrina and Lena quickly move to the front*
Lena: "Oh, this is much better! That Pastor Dave is a cute fella, isn't he? And that keyboard is something else! Look at the shine!"
Katrina: "There's Pastor Dave's wife reading the lesson. She's a nice gal!"
Lena: "You mean those are people from our congregation that read the lesson? I always wondered who they were and where they came from."
Katrina: "Well, Lena, I read the lesson quite often. You mean you don't remember ever seeing me up there reading?"
Lena: "Katrina, I swear on a stack of LBW's, I was awfully curious who all those people were. I thought maybe they were just up there to show off their new duds!"
*Everyone sings hymn #713*
Lena: "That was totally awesome, Katrina! I feel like I was singing with a choir!"
Katrina: "Well, you COULD join the choir and sit up there in the balcony every Sunday, Lena."
Lena: "And give up my seat in the 6th row? Not on your life, Katrina!"
THE END!!!
Submitted by Peace Lutheran Church, Menomonie, Wisconsin |