Excuses

From the Open Files of: East Central Synod of Wisconsin Resource Center (715) 833-1153 Contributed by: Faith Lutheran Church, Marshfield This file is available in Rich Text Format version for editing

Excuses (musical) Cast: Chairwoman and -- Nervous Nell Hypochondriac Hazel Harried Hattie Society Sue Tardy Tillie Tired Tina Last Minute Marian (or one person may play all) Scene I - WANTED: W/ELCA Officers (All characters sing in unison to the tune of "A Tisket, A Tasket") Excuses, excuses, we always get excuses When we ask some folks to help We always get excuses. Chair: (sings to the tune of "Ten Little Indians") One little, two little, three little excuses Everyone is blowing their fuses, Putting their time to other uses- No time for ELCA Women. Chair: (speaking on the phone) Hazel, we're working on the nominating committee's job for this year, and since I'm the chair, I was told to call you and tell you we would like you to be an officer on the ELCA Women for next year. You'd do such a good job! Hazel: (to the tune of "Old Black Joe") Gone are the days when my heart was young and gay My health's so bad, may not live another day Don't count on me, I hate to make you sad I know you need an officer, but I feel too bad. Chair: (on the phone) Hi, Sue. Hey, I'm chair of the nominating committee for our ELCA Women this year and we've got to get a bunch of names to put on the ballot. Our committee would like you to be an officer. You'd be great! Society Sue: (to the tune of "Jingle Bells") Every day, PTA, Brownies, or the troop I am just so busy now, my calendar is pooped. Can't work this in and so I'll pass, ask another time Maybe I can work it in a future day and time. Chair: (on the phone) Hi, Tina, ol' gal. The nominating committee has to get some officers for our Women for next year. The women would like you to be an officer. You'd do such a good job. Tired Tina: (to the tune of "I've Been Working On the Railroad") I've been on the Executive Board for the last 10 years Through the joys and through the sorrows, the laughter and the tears. But now my bones are getting weary; I just can't work so hard Get a younger gal to do it 'cause I am just too tired. Chair: (on the phone) Nell, how are you? Say, the nominating committee for our ELCA Women has been working real hard and we'd like you to be an officer. You'd do a super job. Nervous Nell: (to the tune of "She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain") I just can't be on a committee when I come I get so nervous, and my legs keep getting numb If I always was prepared, I wouldn't get so scared But those meetings always make me feel so dumb. Scene II - ELCA Women's meeting Chair: (to the tune of "Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?") Oh where, oh where, can the ladies be? Oh why, oh why, aren't they here? It's quarter past ten and they haven't come in Oh why do they not appear? Chair: (continues to tune of "Are You Sleeping?") Are they swimming? Hedges trimming? Did they call? Did they call? Picnicking or snoring, they are still ignoring This meeting………….this meeting. Harried Hattie: (to the tune of Reuben, Reuben") I won't be at the meeting today I would like to but I can't In just walked by father, mother, Brother, sister, uncle, aunt. I would like to bring them with me But their visits are so rare I must give them all my free time So I guess I won't be there. Tardy Tillie: (to the tune of Old McDonald") I forgot my study book Me - Oh - Me - Oh - My I left it on the breakfast nook Me - Oh - Me - Oh - My Brushed my teeth and combed my hair But couldn't find a thing to wear Me - Oh - Me - Oh - My. Last Minute Marion: (to the tune of "The Farmer in the Dell") Herman lost his shoe, Matilda drank the glue, Little Fred is in his bed, we think he's go the flu! I dressed the hens today, and one, she got away I chased her all around the barn, the sow got in my way. All together: (to the tune of "O Susanna") Now everyone has sung and we must all bid you adieu, But we are hoping that we brought a little laugh or two, You've seen excuses in jest, but still they're true Now aren't you glad that you are here, so we can't sing about you!

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